9/29/2004

if Aaron and I worked at Bath and Body Works (a conversation about a hypothetical situation)

spaceboy: you could work there too, and i would bring a girl over for you to look at, and you wouldn't even look....you'd just say "every time you bring a girl over to me, i have nightmares..." and then you'd look and just shake your head and walk away

Bunga25: we'd both wear aprons.

spaceboy: i would have a whole wardrobe of green aprons - i would get a dab of lotion on it, let out a sigh that disrupted the whole store, and then go change it
spaceboy: "lotion is for skin, not aprons!"
spaceboy: it's not fair that my apron should get lotion when that poor lady's face needs it so much more

Bunga25: you waster you.

spaceboy: you could tell me to go and don't come back until i don't feel like wasting lotion when we have a store full of dry people

Bunga25: could we go to lunch when we work at B and body works?

spaceboy: of course

Bunga25: but we'd really go outside the mall or wherever, hide by our cars and drink whiskey from a flask.

spaceboy: from the bottle.
spaceboy: with a cork in it

Bunga25: and when wed come back in we'd be real talkative.
Bunga25: and honest.
Bunga25: "honey, that is not your color"

spaceboy: ma'am, even as blurry as things get after lunch, i can still see you need emergency hydration...sit here and don't think of how bad things are

Bunga25: hello new customer, have you ever noticed that all our items smell the same?

spaceboy: you could talk with a german accent and i could say you went to the company's secret beauty school

Bunga25: we could slap each other on the ass whenever we made a sale

spaceboy: i would make the sale and then say, did you believe all that stuff i said? cause if so, i have to go say it to someone else

Bunga25: and then while you were trying to make the sale, i'd walk by and whisper, too loudly, "man, this one's about to buy a lot of crap!"

spaceboy: i would just bring in random items and get people to buy them.

Bunga25: like a can opener?

spaceboy: i would have a bucket of sand and say that it was moisturizing sand, but really it would just be that sand from the pot you're supposed to put your cigarette butts into

Bunga25: we could sell squares of toilet paper and say they were super sterile face oil blotters.

spaceboy: i would get a tall skinny candle and say that you are supposed to use this candle to light the other candles. "if you just start it with a match, then why bother. you have to get it started with a pure flame."

spaceboy: yeah, tp squares with like "brawny" printed right into them

Bunga25: the business needs us.

spaceboy: the world needs us

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