Two ways my parents can scare the crap out of each other this Halloween

My mother has Graves disease, a thyroid disorder which, in her case, has affected one of her eyes. She's had two operations to get things mostly back to normal, but the disease basically causes the eye to open wider than it should as well as causes some vision problems. My mom's been absolutely stoic through the whole thing. She talks about how it's "annoying" whereas should I have had this problem I'd been beating the ground with my fist and demanding J bring my ice cream because God is putting me through such agony and I need comfort. Many times a day I'd indulge in such a scene. Luckily my mom's got it all pretty well sorted out. She might have one more operation in the future, but all in all, her eye is looking so much better and she's just been such a trooper I couldn't be more proud to have her as a parent.

So, you know, it's totally ok that I find humor in her disease because she, unlike me, can surely take it. My father called me this morning to tell me how wonderful I am and also to tell me about his newfound jaw pain and the fact that the dentist is giving him a mouth guard. Now, I myself had a mouthguard when I was in high school for teeth grinding and I'd wake up in the morning having thrown the thing halfway across the room in my sleep. They're fragile and cost like 80 million dollars, so this wasn't the ideal way to handle the precious commodity but hey, I was sleeping it wasn't my fault. Anyway, I wish my father the best of luck with that contraption.

He said that wearing it would be funny, what with my mom wearing Saran Wrap and all. My mom met with the doc again this week and he informed her that wrapping Saran Wrap around her eyes and head while she's sleeping would probably help keep the affected eye moist. Saran Wrap! This might beat the time my dad donned an elastic nurse's cap - you know, one of those paper garments worn in the ER - and bounded out in the front yard to greet my little brother. Just a bathrobe and a nurse's cap. It was for the "itchiness". You know, to keep him from itching his head. Naturally.